❤️ 🚩Love is blind, prenups and the financial red flags that kill relationships 💔 🚩

🔸 How shit talking improves working relationships 🔸 The royals are getting richer 🔸Ed Sheeran swims in algae🔸

Aug 27, 2024

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(as of market close on Monday)

If you’ve been bingeing Love is Blind like we have, then you already know which couples are still together and which ones chose to walk away. (Spoilers here, if you want them.) The show has been so popular it’s already been renewed for a second season, so more of those ridiculous gold wine goblets are in our future. Apply here to be a contestant, if you dare.

There was no shortage of red flags this season, from Sam’s blatant narcissism to Jasmine’s overbearing mother, but one incident stuck out to us more than others: When Freddie asked Catherine for a prenup, she acted like it was the most offensive suggestion she’d ever heard.

Call us crazy, but we think that putting asset protections in place before you marry someone you’ve known for three weeks is probably the best idea anyone on this show has ever had. (In fact, prenups seem so essential in 2024, particularly when you’re marrying a veritable stranger, we thought the show might provide every couple with a free prenup behind the scenes, just as a matter of course, in the same way they offer free engagement rings. Apparently not.)

When Freddie asked Cat if she’d be willing to put one in place, her immediate response was a snide, “If you don’t want to get married, just tell me.” Later, when she was recounting the story to her friends, they told her that his request seemed “a bit controlling“ and that she would be “effectively screwed” because prenups can’t be changed.

There’s a lot more wrong here than just Cat’s bad attitude. First, prenups can always be changed, and in the UK, prenups aren’t legally bonded — they’re just considered heavily in a court. Also, prenups aren’t one-sided. They protect BOTH parties in the event of a divorce. These documents simply offer a way for both partners to feel secure about the financial future of their family. Think about it this way: No smart person would enter into a business partnership without a mutually agreed-upon contract that addresses future possibilities. There's no reason why your most important life partnership should be any different.

Of course some financial problems are far more serious than a prenup — they can completely derail a marriage, or put an end to the dream of a comfortable retirement. There’s a reason why money worries are the most common cause of anxiety in the UK. Thankfully, they don’t have to be a cause of anxiety in your relationship, as long as you know what to watch out for going in.

Without further adieu, the flags:

🚩Red flag #1: They’re angry or overly sensitive when it comes to talking about money. You ask about something money-related, like a prenup, and they have a meltdown. Not only is this a clue that they may not have your best interest at heart, it could also be a sign of financial troubles on their side. And of course an unkind or overly hostile response to a perfectly normal question is a tell-tale sign of what they’re actually like as a person. (Hint: It isn’t rainbows and unicorns.)

🚩Red flag #2: They never think of the future. Either their own, or your future together. It’s one thing to live in the present and seize the day with fun adventures that may blow the budget from time-to-time… it’s entirely another to never plan ahead. While you shouldn’t expect someone to show you their savings account balance on a first date, once you’re in a serious relationship, they should be transparent enough to give you a clear idea of their financial picture and long-term plans. If they refuse to open up, consider it a sign that their future is looking pretty bleak — or doesn’t have you in it.

🚩Red flag #3: They spend like it’s going out of style and/or they’re drowning in debt. Are they living beyond their means? Do they put everything on a credit card that’s maxed to the limit? Unless you’re dating a billionaire with a constant stream of cash that will never fluctuate (which, if you are, congrats!) you need a partner who understands the basics of spending, saving and investing. Credit cards should only be used when the money borrowed can be paid back in full, every month. There’s a reason why the expression “drowning in debt” exists — it can kill your financial dreams before you even get started.

🚩Red flag #4: They disrespect your financial boundaries. Does your partner ask you a lot of probing questions about your financial picture or earnings, but then refuse to reveal much about themselves in return? Do they lean on you to pay for meals, or ask you to pay their bills? Maybe they try to “bribe” you with money or gifts to get something out of you? A financial boundary is just as important as any other kind of boundary. Take note of whether or not yours are being respected.

🚩Red flag #5: They’re lying about money. Maybe they said they couldn’t afford to take you out for your birthday, but then booked a holiday in Crete. Maybe they asked you to lend them some money, but then they always have an excuse about why they can’t pay you back. Or maybe they said they earn less than you, but you spotted their payslip one day and saw they earn double. Know this: If they will lie about money, they will lie about anything and everything else. Consider this a major breach of trust.

🚩Red flag #6: Your financial values don’t match. If you’re more of a saver than a spender, but your person isn’t, know that this could mean trouble down the line unless you both sit down for an honest discussion about compromise. Here’s what you don’t want: Decades of money fights because one of you insists on a new car while the other wants to save for retirement. If you’re going to share joint accounts, then you need to be working towards joint goals.

🚩Red flag #7: They borrow money from friends or family. We all need an extra bit of support from time-to-time, especially when unexpected things happen. (For example, in the event of a job loss, we might be tempted to call on the bank of mom and dad.) But when we constantly rely on others due our own bad decisions with money or an inability to plan ahead, this should send the red flags flying. Someone who is financially co-dependent as an adult may never become the successful financial partner you really need in a relationship.

🚩Red flag #8: They have an appetite for risk. We’re talking about gambling, dumping their life savings into crypto, loaning money to a friend who promises to “double your money ASAP,” making financial decisions when drunk, or anything else that seems, well, stupid. To put it simply, if you’re planning to buy a home or have a family with a person that engages in any of these behaviours, we’d recommend some therapy first.

Can these issues be resolved?

That’s the million dollar question, and ultimately only one you can decide. Money is an integral part of how we do life. And while love may be blind, money is very, very real.

Being on the same page about finances with our partner is arguably just as important as being on the same page about sex, kids, where to live, or any other big-picture issue in a relationship. The only way to know if you’re compatible is healthy communication. So do yourself a favour and start having those money conversations today if you haven’t already.

And if you’re having trouble honing your asshole radar, a scroll through Red Flag Guy’s feed should help clear things up.

And for dessert…

Ed Sheeran is swimming in his completely disgusting “wildlife pond” and his neighbours are miffed.
Want better working relationships? Try gossiping. It’s true. Talking a little shit can actually improve cooperation and trust among colleagues.
The Royals are getting richer. The Royal Family are set to receive an extra £45m of public money as profits of £1.1bn from the crown estate mean the sovereign grant, which supports the official duties of the royal family, will increase from £86m in 2024-25 to £132m in 2025-26.
Why are 66% more people now using cash in our “cashless” society? Turns out, we’re increasingly turning to cash to keep spending in check as prices for everything soar. And we’re getting more comfortable dealing with paper money as the “cash stuffing” and “100 Envelope Challenge” trends continue.

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